Masking, Burnout, and the Exhaustion of Being a Neurodivergent Adult
Many neurodivergent adults arrive in therapy with a quiet, heavy exhaustion that they can’t always explain.
They’re coping.
They’re functioning.
On the surface, life looks “fine.”
But internally, they’re running on fumes.
Often this exhaustion comes from years — sometimes decades — of masking.
Masking is the effort to appear “fine” or “normal” in a world that wasn’t designed with your brain in mind. It can look like:
copying social cues
rehearsing conversations
trying not to seem “too much” or “too sensitive”
holding back stimming
pushing through sensory overwhelm
pretending to understand things you actually don’t
matching the emotional energy of others, even when it costs you
Masking helps people survive. It keeps jobs, friendships and relationships steady. But it comes with a cost.
A big one.
Over time, masking creates burnout — a deep fatigue that feels physical, emotional, and cognitive all at once.
People describe:
shutting down socially
struggling to think clearly
losing tolerance for noise or interruptions
withdrawing from relationships
anxiety or irritability
feeling like they’re “failing” at life
a sense of disappearing inside themselves
This isn’t failure.
This isn’t laziness.
This is what happens when a nervous system is pushed beyond its limits for too long.
Therapy offers a space to unmask slowly and safely.
Not in a performative way, but in a real way — where you don’t have to monitor every expression or overthink every response.
A space where you can explore:
who you are underneath the masking
what your nervous system actually needs
how to build a life that doesn’t rely on constant performance
how to communicate boundaries without shame
how to recognise early signs of burnout
how to be kinder to the parts of yourself that have worked so hard just to get through the day
Whether you’re autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, or exploring the possibility, you deserve a space where your mind is met with understanding rather than correction.
Masking may have helped you survive.
But healing begins when you no longer have to hide the parts of yourself that were never wrong in the first place.
If any of this feels familiar, therapy can be a place to rest, explore, and begin understanding yourself in a way that feels gentler and more sustainable.