What They Don't Tell You About Neurodivergence
Why I'm Writing This
Neurodivergence was discussed during my counselling training, but often as a topic rather than as a different way of experiencing the world.
We learned about autism and ADHD.
What took much longer was understanding what this might actually mean in the therapy room.
The more experience I gained, the more I realised that supporting neurodivergent clients wasn't simply about learning more about neurodivergence.
It was about becoming more curious about the assumptions I brought into therapy.
The Common Assumption
Neurodivergent clients communicate differently.
Whilst this is often true, I began to wonder whether the greater challenge was sometimes the expectations built into therapy itself.
What I Started Noticing
Many of the things I had quietly come to think of as "good therapy" were based on assumptions I had never questioned.
Eye contact.
Silence.
Small talk.
Metaphor.
Homework.
Emotional language.
The expectation that insight automatically leads to change.
The assumption that sitting still means engagement.
Or that looking away means disconnection.
The more I reflected, the more I realised that these weren't universal truths.
They were often neurotypical expectations.
Why I Think It Matters
Understanding neurodivergence encouraged me to become less attached to how therapy should look and more interested in what was actually happening between myself and the client.
What does engagement really look like?
What does connection really look like?
What does safety really look like?
What does progress really look like?
The answers may be different for every person who walks through the door.
Questions for Reflection
Which assumptions about therapy do I rarely question?
How much of what I consider "good therapy" is influenced by neurotypical expectations?
What happens when I adapt my practice rather than expecting my client to adapt to it?
How might curiosity be more helpful than certainty?
What does this particular client need in order to feel understood?
Final Reflection
Understanding neurodivergence did not simply change how I viewed some clients.
It changed how I viewed therapy itself.
The more I learned, the less interested I became in asking clients to fit the therapy.
Instead, I became more interested in asking how therapy could better fit the client.